Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Migraine and the Soul - Caution Graphic content!

I don't know how many of you suffer classical migraines, but they have a way of engendering a level of humility in the face on one's fragility and place in the cosmos.
It's hard to be arrogant, sitting, at three am, blind, in one's own excrement and vomit, reduced for the moment to infancy or dotage. If you can rise out of the pain and the stench, you hear the silence that having one's ego stripped from one gives. And in a strange way, it's comforting.

A divine, watchful silence, with which you are one.

Then you're dragged back to the place of pain and stink and degradation to try to throw the contents of a now empty stomach down the toilet bowl. Then it passes and you can go back to the silence, beyond the pain, the smell, the noise....

And in the silence you meet who you are. Good and bad.

St. John of the Cross ,eat yer heart out! :D To qualify that comment, I was first diagnosed with migraine aged 7. I'm now 41. I lost a lot of my childhood to migraines, when I wasn't caring for my mother. So 34 glorious years. One gets practised in finding a way through it.

It is pointless dressing the reality in a party frock. It's painful and sometimes you lose control of bodily function, up to and including a full bowel motion.

If you can't pull your mind into a 'better' place you let it win. Sometimes it wins. Last night I ended up winning...


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